Does That Make Me Crazy?

I just saw the MTV Movie Awards video of Gnarls Barkley on YouTube. I liked the song already, but that video filled my heart with joy? Why, you might ask? Well, because I’m a geek and I still love Star Wars.

Seeing people dressed up like Stormtroopers always makes my heart beat faster. It reminds me of a time as a kid where I would imagine being in that world. It reminds me of seeing Star Wars when I was so young; it almost wrote a whole section of my mind. I remember sitting in top of a car to see Empire at a drive-in. It makes me recall a great story of the hero’s journey. It also reminds me that I wanted to be Darth Vader.

A big warning sign for the parental figures, but they were a bit busy with adult things, I’m sure. I’d dress in black and thing of the power of having millions of faceless minions at my control. Seeing something so powerful and yet enslaved by another opened my mind even further. Perhaps it was my first understanding of paradox, but it didn’t make me think less of him. Vader rocked, and the only person that could stop him was Vader himself. I told myself that if I ever got rich, I’d hire guards and make them dress up like Stormtroopers. My future wife best pray I don’t get rich, because that is still on top of the list.

So, once again, screw you Lucas. I reject your prequels. I just saw a Stormtrooper play bass on stage of a world broadcast and everyone loved it. They remember the joy of the world you made, even if you can’t.

R.I.P. Mythic

In case to you didn’t see the thousands of geek chatter, EA bought Mythic.

What does this mean? Well, nothing really. EA buying them doesn’t mean a damn thing besides they might have a large marketing budget for Warhammer Online. That’s about the only thing that can actually be confirmed.

But what we think it means? Well, that’s a whole different story. EA is the killer of all games not sports. I’ll just go ahead and say that when you hear a company got bought by them, you might as well tell the next person the company got cancer. They will take all the support staff and cut them to centralize, and then they will bleed the creative team till they all quit or start talking to their plants for companionship. The last stage is taking whatever product they were making and giving it to the group that isn’t still crying from upgrading Madden and tell them to fix it up and push it out in a week. “Why is that dwarf carrying a football and why are the orcs pursuing him in a blitz pattern?” You know why.

To the great people at Mythic, I want to thank you. Dark Age was a great game, and I bet Warhammer was going to be as well. Thanks for all the great fun. Anyone who has stayed in a North Austin bar past 1am knows that NCSoft is hiring. Perhaps Lum will even lend you a couch for the night.

On the bright side, I did miss Tweety’s rants. Perhaps she will be able to tell us about all the years dealing with our whining about every petty thing in the game. Did I ever mention I bumped into her at a D&B here in Austin? I was going to introduce myself, but the reality that I just recognized her made me think I might better use my time by going home and smashing my PC.

Eldest

I just finished reading that book. It’s not too bad if you are into fantasy, but it made me think of an odd trend. Why the hell is all fantasy becoming a competition to outdo Tolkien?

Yes, I know he is the father of the modern epic fantasy, but do you really have to babble about the world you created in such detail that I can tell you how many nut hairs a troll or trollic or dragon or whatever has? Must I know your world so well, I have a freaking map of it more detailed then Rand McNally’s? Where have all the short stories gone?

Well, I think the trends of series are coming to an end. Gookind is pushing his last book out soon and Jordan might not live long enough to finish his. Martin takes so long to write his books, that I might just die before he gets done and Paolini is writing a damn telephone book to finish his trilogy of phonebooks. I miss Piers Anthony and Robert Asprin; at least they had ten book series that were under 200 pages each. Yes, Asprin is still alive, but the Myth series almost put him in a drool bin and now he co-writes everything from his padded cell. Ok, maybe he didn’t go crazy, but he was damn close.

Zalazny is gone and Mcaffery’s son was told he should stick to Pern or go about spending his inheritance. Salvatore is so sick of the character that made him known that he has a closet full of stories describing anything from him being tea-bagged to death by a dwarf to slipping in the shower. Hell, even Rowling is almost done. Her last book will make her so rich; she may just buy Ireland and tell all of them they have to wear pointy wizard hats to own land.

With all these long series ending and so many writers burnt out, what will be next? I am praying for a series of short books that make me like a character without describing them so well I could pick them out in a lineup. Let your reader do the imagining and perhaps our children will be able to do more then dig ditches or take orders in the future. If you need to show people what your world looks like, go get a movie deal. Those whores will film anything if they can have a Pepsi sign in the background.

Free Time

I wish I had more time to do bit of writing here, but my schedule has been slammed.

Don't worry, I'm not done posting. i just need a week to get my work done.

Promotions

I wonder if they had to turn in ballots.


So, how long has it taken for the Iraqi’s to form a government and put people in place? Something tells me they are not near done with the bombings. I know better then to read the news.

If you need me, I’ll be under my bed.

Sheen, Richards Extend Restraining Order

Wow, I didn’t know you had to agree to it.

So, let me get this strait. She put a restraining order on him for threatening to kill her back in April. Then, she had to extend it and he agreed with it? How the hell does that work? Why the hell would he need to, and why the hell would he? Put your imagination caps on boys and girls!

Richards “He’s still saying he’s going to kill me, and I need you to extend the order for me and my family’s protection!”

Sheen “She has a very valid point, your honor. If I get within 300 feet of her, I am totally going OJ on the bitch.”

I think the current judicial system was created in a different dimension.

Just a Name

Have you ever lived in a Southern city with a name like “Fred?” Have you ever even wondered what is in a name? Well, let me tell you, school was a constant rehash of Flintstone and frog questions that never ended. I don’t think I went one day without one sad little prick making some damn joke. I would equate it to walking down the street in Boulder, Co with long hair and not being asked a question about the Grateful Dead. Like the fat kid in dodgeball, I didn’t stand a chance.

Even after school, I considered changing my name, but I considered the time it would take me to get new checks. I’d also have to replace all the “I’m with Fred” t-shirts I have bought for my future girlfriends, and that was just too much to even consider. I’m the Fred that was and ever will be.

These days it’s not so bad. I have come to accept that I’ll always have to say “Hi, I’m Fred. No, really. It’s Fred. Yes, they really named me Fred.” during almost every social introduction. I have accepted being called Frank by most people since no one can fathom there is more then one name starting with and “F” for humans. I’ve even resolved myself to knowing that I may never, ever befriend a man named Barney and not have the world collapse into pee releasing laughter. It’s all good. What’s in a name? Thirty years of justifiable homicide for the next jackass that calls my date “Wilma.”

Hello bored web-surfer, I’m Fred. No, really. It’s Fred. Yes, they really named me Fred.

Dreams

I just have to tell you, I love stick figures. Perhaps it’s because I don’t have any talent in drawing, but the love is there and won’t go away. I leave you to suffer with my poorly drawn comic and warn you it might become a trend.