Oh really?

This just in: movie coma patients are misrepresented!

That’s right boys and girls, it’s all a wrong. Remember how you broke your arm trying to steal pies from the windowsill of that old lady down the street and it took months to get the muscles working right when you got the cast off? Recall the year of physical therapy you had to go through after taking a bad fall escaping those angry hookers? Well it also applies to sitting in a bed for weeks, months, or years. I know, I’m simply shocked how you go through all the effort to drag yourself out of a coma and you still have to deal with muscle atrophy. Apparently, I’m not the only one.

They didn’t give the numbers, but the people conducting the survey were surprised to find what a high percentage of the audiences thought the movie scenes of the coma patient was accurate. Personally, I’m not all that surprised, but then again, I doubt people conducting research for Reuters get down to the Wal-Mart as often as they should. Perhaps if they did, they might conduct a study on how Wal-Mart is run by werewolves (It’s true, remind me to explain it to you some time.)

I’m sure the movie industry will view this information and change it immediately. Perhaps they can hire Spielberg to re-master them to be covered in tubes and wires, or just put a flashlight in their hand. Or, you could put the remote down long enough to teach your kid something. If not, I propose plan B. Next time you have to bring Timmy in to see his grandpa in the hospital after he tried to climb out of the car window on the way to the retirement home, don’t tell him he’s in a coma. All the tubes and machines will just confuse him and lead to more questions. Just tell him he’s a cyborg.