Does Noah Know a Good Electrician?

Living in Austin was a damp life these past weeks. I know how many of you want to flood me with “You don’t know rain!” replies, but please spare me. If people in Seattle got two weeks of 100 degree plus weather, they would be committing suicide. Well, more of them would then usually do, I guess. Or maybe they would cheer up seeing some sunlight and decide to make the world a better place. Ok, it’s a bad analogy. Is it technically an analogy? Oh hell, let’s just drop it and say it won’t stop raining in my town.

The past weekend brought a great storm of rain, hail, and winds that is a reminder that God hates poor people, especially ones who live in trailers or near water. After giving the usual group the beating they needed to remain faithful to Him instead of that creepy Hilton guy who goes around in drag; he made a special visit to west Austin.

West Austin is where the older money tends to build up their great white havens and lives to protect themselves from all those nasty immigrants. No, not their gardener Juan, he’s one of the good ones. Storms tore the whole area to pieces and lightening took out what the wind couldn’t knock down. Hundreds are without power even four days later, repair crews from Houston were called in to help, and the whole area is about as furious as a Baptist is allowed to get when there is a camera on them. One woman in particular had me rolling with laughter and disgust while I was getting ready for work today.

They conducted the interview on the second story porch of her home and you could tell she was mad. Her hair had one strand out of place and she shook her finger at the camera as if the reporter was to blame. As she went on with words like “ridiculous” and “irresponsible,” I found myself getting blinded by the rock on her ring that must have powered the laser in Congo and getting a feeling of not giving a damn. For some reason, a person that could afford to buy a hotel, or a private repair crew for that matter, doesn’t get to have my sympathy. Guess I’m just mean that way.

I’d love to turn this into a rant to bring down the rich and divide their wealth till we all live in a glorious utopia where all the boys have X-Boxes and girls can buy what ever whorish thing Lindsey Lohan is wearing this week, but I won’t. I won’t because the storm destroyed a lot of home computers and I will make a killing repairing them all since the people who live there are too busy to bother with trying to fix something themselves.

Was it Jello Biafra who said, “Eat the Rich?”