So It Begins

At long last, I have taken up the keyboard and started a blog. I know there are at least ten of them out there already, so I'll try not to be too repetitive. There is so much to discuss and enlighten you with, but I have to start somewhere. What will I go with? What to write? Oh I’ve got it.

Dear drunk girl on my couch last week,

Live aliens have not been captured by our government and are being experimented on and interrogated as we speak. How do I know?

They have mastered interstellar travel! There’s a good chance they might have come up with a few other nifty inventions. How the hell do you propose we captured them, a banana in a jar? Do you really think they went missing and their race just let it go? Did they neglect to put a signal in his ship like every damn thing we have made since the 90’s? “Damn, Geeglob turned off his communicator near that monkey rock in the Milky Way. Guess he wants to be left alone or he would have told us he was going to try to disappear. We should not go looking for him; no way should we do that.”

I’m sorry to say, but if by some great chance this indeed happened, it must be the equivalent of some jackass that got too drunk and puts his truck in the river. Even if they do have him alive, I seriously doubt they will get much technology out of him. Go ask the next person you see to tell you exactly how a television works. Go ask the next twenty.

Thank you for drinking my liquor, now please don’t barf on my cat on the way out.